God is Funny Sometimes

For the past few days I’ve been fighting a losing battle with depression.


It’s a risk we all take when we step out boldly with a vision that we think is from Him and try to live it out in the world. I get really excited about my vision for this site and the organization I’m building around the principles I see in scripture; principles for managing money, growing a business and giving back. I think God has given me a vision and a mission to carry these things out for Him and for the Kingdom on earth. I usually receive my visions early in the morning or on the weekends but Monday inevitably dawns and I am faced with the reality of bills, regular work and a secular society that just doesn’t get it.

This past week I was told by one of my prospects that the deal we had been working on for over a year wasn’t going to happen, at least not right now. That set me off into a deep depression.   Quite frankly the money I would have made from that deal could have sustained me for several months and I need that right now.

But it went deeper I started to doubt my ability. I am sure the deal we had worked out would have been great for everyone involved. I was offering to save my prospect thousands of dollars over the course of at least the next two years and to me it was a no brainer. But at the end of the day they didn’t see it that way. They felt the relationship they had with their current supplier was worth more than the money the unknown and unproven concept I was proposing would save.

What did I do wrong? Was there anything I could have said or done differently that would have been more persuasive? I don’t think so. The bottom line is, relationships matter and the relationship my prospect had with their current supplier trumped everything else, even the thousands of dollars they could have saved. Did I fail in some way? No, what this told me was that I need to spend more time getting to know them and building the relationship before they are going to trust me enough to give me a chance. Sometimes selling can be a long game and you have to be prepared for some opportunities to take a long time to nurture. That’s just business.

But back to how God is funny about all this.

This all happened on Wednesday and I allowed it to effect my thinking for exactly 24 hours. On my way home from the office on Thursday I started to pray. I prayed for peace with the new reality, I prayed for new doors to open and mostly I prayed for a sign that my vision was still intact and that God still had a plan for this site and this organization. I hadn’t been home for more than 15 minutes when my phone rang. It was a new contact in another city doing similar work who wanted to meet with me, provide encouragement and share ideas.


God you are funny sometimes. I can’t wait to see what have you ‘vegot in store for me today!


  1. Keith says:

    I didn’t realize you were wrestling with depression. I’m glad that you got some encouragement! I’m always blessed by your thoughts. I think the Meekonomics idea is right on the money, so to speak 🙂 The challenge is going to be that it’s counter-cultural and people aren’t fans of that. Hey, are you coming over for games tomorrow? ‘Cause you should.

    1. laurensheil says:

      Thanks Keith, saw this great quote about depression this morning “Depression is not a sign of weakness, it means you’ve been strong for too long.” That’s pretty much how I feel about it. We’ll have to see about games night, not sure what Brenda has in mind.

  2. Keith says:

    I didn’t realize you were wrestling with depression. I’m glad to hear that you got some encouragement. I really appreciate your thoughts and think that the Meekonomics project is right on the money, so to speak 😉 The challenge is always going to be that it’s counter-cultural. Keep up the good work!

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